Tuesday, December 21, 2010

fuzzin' in the rain

A beautiful girl... is like a great work of art. She's stylish! She's chic! And she also is smaaaaaaart.

For lounging in her boudoir, this simple plain pajama.

Marc Jacobs S/S 11

Her cloak is trimmed with monkey fur, to lend a dash of drama.

Chanel A/W 10

Anyone for tennis? Well, this'll make 'em cringe!

Lacoste S/S 11

And you'll knock 'em dead at dinner, if your uni-boob just drips with fringe!

Pierre Cardin S/S 11

Monday, November 29, 2010

there's something about these hats

We can't help but wonder if Angela Missoni has been watching a lot of The Flying Nun lately.

Missoni S/S 11

Monday, November 22, 2010

the 'it' menorah

HF doesn't usually do this, but we couldn't resist sharing this email we just received from Barneys.

Because really, nothing says 'trendy' like observing a 5,771 year old tradition.

Friday, November 12, 2010

caution: may cause bunching

Oh man, don't you just haaaate when you go to the ladies room and no one tells you there's a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe?

It's almost as bad as no one telling you your skirt is tucked into your underwear.

Paul Costelloe S/S 11

See, this is why girls don't go to the bathroom alone.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

ah, lina, you look lovely!

Moncler S/S 11

Gee, this hat and goggles weigh a ton. What dope would wear a thing like this?

Everybody used to wear them, Lina.

Well then everybody was a dope!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

well that explains a lot

Now, just so we're clear...

Michael Kors S/S 11

This is a burlap sack accessorized by platform Birkenstocks and chunky wool hiking socks.

By Michael Kors.

That's Birkenstocks with socks.


Michael Kors S/S 11

So, when you said that Gretchen's collection was "where fashion is going," what you really meant was, this is where Michael Kors is going. 

Because we're pretty sure fashion isn't going to spend the summer baking whole wheat bread at an AMC mountain hut.

Michael, that means you're out.

Please leave the runway.

Here's a burlap sack to put your things in.

Michael Kors S/S 11

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

fo' sho-lo

Here at HF we're big fans of the mullet. Bigger than Tina Turner's hair big. Bigger than Hulk Hogan's hulk big! If you're not familiar with the classic literary masterpiece The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods, do yourself a favor and get thee to a bookery! In this thoughtful portrait, you'll learn about such rockin' styles as: the Hello Cleveland, the Kentucky Waterfall, the Blade Runner, the Relief Pitcher, the Holy Roller, and (our personal favorite) the Tailored Mohican.

All the better to appreciate this Bi-Level Weekend Warrior Shlong sweater!

Business in the front...

Christopher Shannon S/S 11

Christopher Shannon S/S 11

... party in the back!

Friday, October 29, 2010

halloween parade!

This year's HF Halloween Parade is brought to you by Jeremy Scott. Without him, we wouldn't be half the Fuzz we are today--especially now that fashion is taking a turn for the minimal. So grab a seat and some Smarties and get ready for some spectacular spectating!

Oh look, there's our first Lady Gaga of the day!  

Jeremy Scott S/S 11

Can't go wrong with a good cold cut. Maybe we can *meat* up later.

Hey look, it's a can-can girl!

Jeremy Scott S/S 11

Hmm, looks like she could use a beer cozy.

Who's that coming this way? 

Why, it's a ticket stub!

Jeremy Scott S/S 11 

Poor guy. Someone's been used.

Up next... Ooh!   It's...   uh...     well...

It's Tom Cruise in Risky Business, only the hookers have stolen his white shirt and he's been forced to fashion a top out of a shopping bag!

Jeremy Scott S/S 11 

On second thought, that might just be another Gaga.

And last but not least...

Jeremy Scott S/S 11

The Institutionalization of Marriage.

Happy Halloween from Haute Fuzz! 
May your hair be huge, 
your costumes be clever, 
and your sugar intake worthy of a diabetic coma.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

wanna get highlighters?

Back in October 1989, HF decided to dress up as a punk rocker for Halloween. The costume consisted of black leggings, a white t-shirt with some holes cut in it, and three colors of neon hairspray. We also used the hairspray to paint some neon spots on the t-shirt. It totally rocked the second grade.

We suspect the same technique may have been applied here...

Betsey Johnson S/S 11

It's that or highlighters.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

doctor! it's horrible!

Good morning Karmen, what seems to be the problem?

There's a growth on my chest!

I'm sorry, did you say a... growth?

Yes, doctor, a growth! A barnacle like growth! On my chest!

OK, well let's just stay calm here. Why don't you take off your jacket and we'll have a look.

Jason Wu S/S 11

Oh my. That is barnacle like.

Friday, October 22, 2010

couldn't escape if i wanted to

Topshop Unique S/S 11

We'd love to come up with something witty and fabulous for you right now, but we're currently struck with an inexplicable urge to go watch Muriel's Wedding and listen to ABBA.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

ode to water wings

Marc Jacobs S/S 11

(to the tune of 'America the Beautiful' and 'Ode to Banana Pants')

O beautiful, for spacious sleeves
For blown up blobs embraced
For purple puffs of taffeta
And blooms that eat your face

O water wings! O water wings!
We'll stay afloat with thee
Else swimming in this table skirt
Would end in tragedy

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

a scandalous baking adventure

True story:

Last month HF was recovering from Paris fashion mania with a brief stopover in the English countryside, when we learned that our visit was to coincide with a time-honored village tradition... the Shoreham Horticultural & Allotment Garden (SHAG) Society show. A SHAG show! At last, the opportunity to re-enact Helen Mirren's acceptance speech from Calendar Girls!

Much to our delight, HF's very talented sister was poised to enter no less than fifteen categories. Fancy breads! Stone fruit jams! Heaviest pumpkin! Sausage rolls!

HF was charged with the task of handling the cheesecake entry. So we did what any self respecting New Yorker would do. We harassed the best cheesecake baker we knew for a recipe. The problem: the recipe called for a ten-inch pan. We had only a seven-inch.

Sacrebleu! So much cheesecake filling! What was a baking apprentice to do? Why, make more cheesecakes of course! We filled a pie pan, an oblong baking dish, any vessel that would hold wafer crumble crust and chocolate cheesey goodness!

But wait, there's more. The show piece cooled with a very large crack on top. Great Jeremy Scott! A crack! Good thing we had all those extra cakes! We performed a delicate surgical graft, transplanting a sliver from one of the back-up cakes to patch the surface of the money maker.

Which is how we ended up with this thing that looks rather like a vagina.

Now, Marchesa, what's your excuse?

Marchesa S/S 11

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

it's a fuzzy job, but someone's gotta do it

Many people have asked why the Fuzz disappeared for so long. Well, part of the danger in working in fashion 24/7 for many years is that you become a little jaded. And overworked. Bad fashion starts to become boring. Really bad fashion becomes an insult to your precious time and energy. And then it just stops registering altogether.

Case in point: we flipped right past this look from PPQ without even noticing anything was amiss.

PPQ S/S 11


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

overheard at isaac mizrahi

Isaac: "Hee hee hee."

Stylist: "Why are you smirking? What have you done?"

Isaac: "You know Karl's collar drawer?"

Stylist: "What drawer?"

Isaac: "You know, Karl Lagerfeld's drawer full of super starched white shirt collars."

Stylist: "Oh, yes, what about it?"

Isaac: "I stole it."

Stylist: "You STOLE it?"

Isaac: "Yes! The whole drawer! And Karl is furious!"

Stylist: "Jesus Christian and Coco, Isaac, I CANNOT know about this. I'll lose my Chanel booking!"

Isaac: "Oh don't blow a zipper. Don't you think it's fabulous? A whole drawer of collars?"

Stylist: "Well you better make them disappear faster than Lindsay Lohan at a rehab clinic, or I quit. You're only vaguely relevant again, you know. I have other clients."

Isaac: "All right, all right. Consider them gone."

Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11

Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11

Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11

the bicycle: a brief history

Today we take a little ride down memory lane courtesy of our friends at the Pedaling History Bicycle Museum. Join us, as we learn about:

The Draisienne or Walking Machine of 1817

The Velocipede or Boneshaker (1865)

The High Wheel Bicycle

The Ladies' High Wheel Tricycle

The Pneumatic Tire of the Gay Nineties (1890s, that is)

The 20th Century Kid's Bike

And of course, the present day Village Bicycle

Betsey Johnson S/S 11

Betsey Johnson S/S 11

for those about to smock

All right children, today in art class we'll be learning about finger painting. Does everyone have their smocks?

Cynthia Rowley S/S 11

Calvin Klein S/S 11

Peter Jensen S/S 11

Wonderful. Let's begin.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

turn around.


"Turn. Hat, off...

The dress. You'll have to put on another one before you meet the children."

"But I don't have another one. When we enter the abbey, all our worldly clothes are given to the poor."

"What about this one?"

"Well the poor didn't want this one."

Louis Vuitton A/W 10