Sunday, December 23, 2007

brunchtime banter

MIRANDA: You couldn't find your dress?? Oh no! What did you do?

CARRIE: I ransacked his Christmas tree. I panicked! There was all this extra tinsel, and all these gifts wrapped in colored cellophane and bags full of that crinkly shredded filler, you know, like they put in bath set gift baskets...

CHARLOTTE: You mean sizzle?

MIRANDA: It has a name?

CHARLOTTE: Yes, I had to learn all about it in my flower arranging class. Sizzle!

CARRIE: Well I wanted the date to sizzle, not a dress made out of sizzle!

CHARLOTTE: Are you sure it's sizzle? Maybe it's just Easter basket grass. That means he likes Easter baskets! And everyone knows men who like Easter baskets make good husbands.

SAMANTHA: What you should have done is worn one of his shirts as a dress. I do it all the time if the guy is bad in bed. If I don't come, then you don't come home to a full wardrobe.

CARRIE: I couldn't do that, then he'd know I went through his closet. Plus my bra wouldn't be showing, and you know nowadays I can't wear anything that doesn't show my bra.

The girls shrug and nod in empathy.

CARRIE: It's not that bad, is it? Do you think anyone will notice that this wasn't styled by Pat Field?

After I got home I kept thinking about my makeshift gift-wrap dress. As we outgrow our party years and eating disorders and Olsen twin copycat phases, it gets harder to improvise when you can't find your clothes in the morning. There was a time when a date involving Easter grass and sizzle would have meant hot stoned sex. When did it all change? When did sizzling on a date become a bad thing? I couldn't help but wonder... When it comes to relationships, why do we keep putting ourselves under the hot glue gun?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

koosh balls: a history

Developed in 1987, the prototype of the Koosh was made out of rubber bands, and named "Koosh" because that's the sound it made when it landed. The Koosh ball was developed by Scott Stillinger and Matt Button, the owners of Oddz On Products. The toys had great appeal with a surprising number of adult fans. It was estimated that 40% of the toys were purchased for adults to play with. Several million units were shipped from the next four years and were supported by an official user's guide, "The Official Koosh Ball."

During the 1988 Christmas season, the Koosh ball was the hottest toy on the shelves. The Koosh ball was a rubber ball filled with a jelly-like plasma and its outside consisted of hundreds of rubber spikes making it look like a soft and flexible porcupine that did not hurt to hold or squeeze. When someone squeezed the object, the plasma caused it to squirm around in his hand while the spikes provided something to grip in one's hand.

While the number of units sold has dropped off, they are still a holiday favorite.

"Where can I get a Koosh Ball of my very own?" you might ask...

Ebay is one place where you can still find Koosh Balls.

Here's another:

And just in time for their 20th Christmas Anniversary!

Informative history adapted from the Bad Fads Museum.
Needless to say, HF feasts on bad fads.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

made from real panther

Don't let the red hair fool you, brothers. I may be whiter than the child of Michael Jackson and an albino Scottish girl, but do you see this fro? Even a beret and a denim shirt can't contain my true essence. Black power!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

mummy, i'm scared!

Mummy, what's wrong with her face?

Why are they smiling, mummy?

They're coming closer! Make it stop! Make it stop!


Monday, December 10, 2007

tricky tricky

Oh, how the eye plays tricks with the mind! And the mind plays tricks with the eye again! Oh, what a tricky pair. It looks like one of my pant legs is skinnier than the other, doesn't it. But is it just your eye playing tricks with your mind? Or your mind playing tricks with your eye? Or the left eye playing tricks with the right in a battle of wits to the death? And if that is the case then which side will your mind side with? Will the man in black emerge victorious with his slim right leg and iocane powder immunity? Or will it be the Sicilian's seemingly wider left leg and dizzying intellect? Oh, you tricky mind, you tricky eye. Oh Run-DMC, how well you put words to the profound trickiness of this denim dilemma!