tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51837365678307433292024-03-05T07:11:04.328-05:00Haute Fuzzfor those about to mock, we salute youhaute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.comBlogger174125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-89190016146647952472011-03-10T20:27:00.000-05:002011-03-10T20:27:04.594-05:00fall collections, we have a winner!<div style="text-align: justify;">Congratulations to Michael Kors for eliciting the first official Fuzz of the new fall 2011 season! What, you might ask, garnered Mr. Kors this honor?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The criterion was simple... </div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgbvv2arJmXU3czb0tcOjFnEP7TyCYNC-eiRiRfLDkFI_S4nvXZIT9IcFRNrC-pM5S3sDV-sOpSfArjPdPi1Lwm82mjBbPEleh0jwo3K_2Uz73O7pauiZR1UxCO40s1lEkEhT09d5jViR/s1600/m-kors-aw11w254.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgbvv2arJmXU3czb0tcOjFnEP7TyCYNC-eiRiRfLDkFI_S4nvXZIT9IcFRNrC-pM5S3sDV-sOpSfArjPdPi1Lwm82mjBbPEleh0jwo3K_2Uz73O7pauiZR1UxCO40s1lEkEhT09d5jViR/s1600/m-kors-aw11w254.jpg" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Michael Kors A/W 11</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">It made us go "UHH." </div><br />
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(Plus now we can't stop thinking about drumsticks.)haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-84671051963537677722011-03-07T20:23:00.003-05:002011-06-20T22:23:58.010-04:00closing remarks<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">You have now seen but a small sampling of odious offenses the Dynasty of Unflattering Pants has thus far committed on the female form. You have seen the Unflattering Pants perform vicious attacks on human dignity, and grave humiliations, even on children. These were not isolated or sporadic events, but carefully coordinated as part of a wide practice of atrocious trends for spring 2011. And you have seen them condoned by Style.com, an internationally respected authority on fashion. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">If there remain any doubts in your mind as to the damage that will continue if you allow the Unflattering Pants to go forth unhindered, HF offers one final plea for your consideration:</div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Next year, this could be you.</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwdgSVfelSoUZzutZFPS8gzuZYqyNtSHnIkUy58Asvu42A4luXJseNL1_V8kOsqaBMWYvJ-Jxtmb9qjY2_7tvMk56EPFshcVFpzi45qIykFLx90PtTW59vX8y6DBfQDHSlhHv4piieEbIP/s1600/day5-ny-ss11s210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwdgSVfelSoUZzutZFPS8gzuZYqyNtSHnIkUy58Asvu42A4luXJseNL1_V8kOsqaBMWYvJ-Jxtmb9qjY2_7tvMk56EPFshcVFpzi45qIykFLx90PtTW59vX8y6DBfQDHSlhHv4piieEbIP/s1600/day5-ny-ss11s210.jpg" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Street fashion by Anthea Simms S/S 11 </span></div><br />
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</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-35551967526382197852011-03-07T20:03:00.001-05:002011-03-07T20:50:38.720-05:00exhibit e: no one is safeWe deeply regret having to show this lime green metallic horror being inflicted upon a young, helpless child. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhtbiHPg4as7RaeFuUW0OjFenhLhD4sKR7_fnSfguca_Ev-diuvSwbWdp-d1ISQ4m0VjeTS6FWxZ3-MVjM-pJW1mAQ0c3Og8ZVRuHj-sKav9KC2vDqfgnVtdC777XRHJOHzUHSMfCN18t/s1600/monnalisa_084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhtbiHPg4as7RaeFuUW0OjFenhLhD4sKR7_fnSfguca_Ev-diuvSwbWdp-d1ISQ4m0VjeTS6FWxZ3-MVjM-pJW1mAQ0c3Og8ZVRuHj-sKav9KC2vDqfgnVtdC777XRHJOHzUHSMfCN18t/s640/monnalisa_084.jpg" width="424" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Mona Lisa S/S 11</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-86206975022110985162011-03-07T19:57:00.001-05:002011-03-07T20:50:00.100-05:00exhibit d: it gets worse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyx_7400HeP9zUFC3DmyBUYwJeTEDvsHfpl_c9yPxDiWCmw9Rk3B9h_yOfwLPma8wUqJLQ0oN3eI1awy2JPb8fPRDscx73438KX_oouaemNtJL9Lb25WB94WPqcl5J_i3yv6BX0C5fB6sh/s1600/ashish-ss11w232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyx_7400HeP9zUFC3DmyBUYwJeTEDvsHfpl_c9yPxDiWCmw9Rk3B9h_yOfwLPma8wUqJLQ0oN3eI1awy2JPb8fPRDscx73438KX_oouaemNtJL9Lb25WB94WPqcl5J_i3yv6BX0C5fB6sh/s1600/ashish-ss11w232.jpg" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ashish S/S 11</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">These hammer pants are not only sequined AND leopard print, but adorned with foot-long fringe trim.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-47096125289069532122011-03-07T19:02:00.000-05:002011-03-07T19:02:22.722-05:00exhibit c: parachute shorts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpXZMxv6DlKOxpOiOd6E0GK36uMlCKBODWe1FWKmQn4S_ZpZLYmTDFtIk3_lBkioq-LtexDBsOKaFrnNks9KmUjKU7IwHOg_T3n2JoYYxBcvKGnxRZkPu8S0BjHbkOJWGIWgE8k0SN2TnS/s1600/commuun-ss11w038.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpXZMxv6DlKOxpOiOd6E0GK36uMlCKBODWe1FWKmQn4S_ZpZLYmTDFtIk3_lBkioq-LtexDBsOKaFrnNks9KmUjKU7IwHOg_T3n2JoYYxBcvKGnxRZkPu8S0BjHbkOJWGIWgE8k0SN2TnS/s1600/commuun-ss11w038.jpg" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju1rl-ykjy0jx3YtTnn2iCqO5WNCnv2Rwmj4a1b2cexPH3GdPDlbB9Wt5nd2bPLlVsUe4tWzS0mtLii9rhFfX8kaPPAZKCxfPw9AIJ9JRZagj7uSJYOWXYId867puH1eMHh4YlRrvUvKWJ/s1600/commuun-ss11w040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju1rl-ykjy0jx3YtTnn2iCqO5WNCnv2Rwmj4a1b2cexPH3GdPDlbB9Wt5nd2bPLlVsUe4tWzS0mtLii9rhFfX8kaPPAZKCxfPw9AIJ9JRZagj7uSJYOWXYId867puH1eMHh4YlRrvUvKWJ/s1600/commuun-ss11w040.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> Commuun S/S 11</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Let the record show that this atrocity keeps its wearer in a perpetual state of wedgie humiliation.</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-8646530118295141932011-03-07T18:57:00.000-05:002011-03-07T18:57:11.267-05:00the horror continuesExhibit B: This widespread collection of diapers for spring 2011.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/marc-ss11w138.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Marc by Marc Jacobs S/S 11</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/ppq-ss11w161.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">PPQ S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/m-kors-ss11w101.jpg" /></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Michael Kors S/S 11</span></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/daks-ss11w077.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Daks S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/unique-ss11w029.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Topshop Unique S/S 11 </span></span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let the record show that not only are these briefs being pushed in such offensive fabrics as shiny silk, they are also turning up in chunky sweater versions. Let the record also show that yes, that <i>is</i> camel-toe.</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-70688452350423359972011-03-07T18:37:00.006-05:002011-03-07T20:57:44.959-05:00please, stop the horror<div style="text-align: justify;">Ladies and gentlemen,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">We are here to present you with a grave reality... that the stylish world as we know it is currently under attack from an evil and widespread terrorist organization: the Dynasty of Unflattering Pants. The threat has been growing for more than a year now, and no longer we can stand idly by while the female form is so heinously affronted. This Dynasty of Unflattering Pants is being charged with severe crimes against humanity.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let us remind everyone that crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are <b>particularly odious offenses</b> in that they constitute a serious <b>attack on human dignity</b> or <b>grave humiliation</b> or a degradation of one or more human beings. They are not isolated or sporadic events, but are part either of a government policy or of a wide practice of atrocities tolerated or condoned by a government or a de facto authority."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Over the course of the coming posts, you will be presented with alarming evidence that these Unflattering Pants are not isolated occurrences, nor innocent individuals acting under their own personal will. The Dynasty of Unflattering Pants is receiving funding, production assistance, and prolific media support from respected world fashion authorities.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">HF has spent the last several months collecting evidence in this most serious matter. We do not seek to use shock tactics, but the truth is that the images you are going to see may shock you. They may disgust you.</div><br />
First, we present you with the Style.com 'Look of the Day' from November 22, 2010, presented under the heading 'Who wore it well?'<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSppt4pBLaY-V9qaR7ZP_x0CsYTXbr6KNyTBOZpHH6wRZRyHR7h_ZO44vXXatSDuULX0iCB33feZdnBIlylOiNXCCKf5didjs3SC1aEt8t1H19Mif9m-Xy8xIlZmROu53yTPKYK4i0eHa/s1600/look-of-the-day-11-22-10c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="397" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSppt4pBLaY-V9qaR7ZP_x0CsYTXbr6KNyTBOZpHH6wRZRyHR7h_ZO44vXXatSDuULX0iCB33feZdnBIlylOiNXCCKf5didjs3SC1aEt8t1H19Mif9m-Xy8xIlZmROu53yTPKYK4i0eHa/s400/look-of-the-day-11-22-10c.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXr-1mqfsvQM8DH-dc2ZREPhgyIrjOmjd8gwfnjudr4HFdp2tYOkQJJA0GjdLHX2eCZUSbKKKayM1O9ZtHnfT9LyPraO_BYw-1CqX6Y3gA_fUBmVpApVZZi6uhOgu6V563IJ7-Cx4RMRi/s1600/look-of-the-day-11-22-10b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXr-1mqfsvQM8DH-dc2ZREPhgyIrjOmjd8gwfnjudr4HFdp2tYOkQJJA0GjdLHX2eCZUSbKKKayM1O9ZtHnfT9LyPraO_BYw-1CqX6Y3gA_fUBmVpApVZZi6uhOgu6V563IJ7-Cx4RMRi/s400/look-of-the-day-11-22-10b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Style.com</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Let the record show that the answer to that question is "No one."</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-11298966836990458102010-12-21T15:02:00.000-05:002010-12-21T15:02:41.441-05:00fuzzin' in the rainA beautiful girl... is like a great work of art. She's stylish! She's chic! And she also is smaaaaaaart.<br />
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For lounging in her boudoir, this simple plain pajama.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/mjacobs-ss11w089.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Marc Jacobs S/S 11</span></div><br />
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Her cloak is trimmed with monkey fur, to lend a dash of drama.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/chanel-aw10w031.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Chanel A/W 10 </span></div><br />
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Anyone for tennis? Well, this'll make 'em cringe!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/lacoste-ss11w030.jpg" /> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Lacoste S/S 11</span></div><br />
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And you'll knock 'em dead at dinner, if your uni-boob just drips with fringe!<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/p-card-ss11w024.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Pierre Cardin S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-70263474100235730812010-11-29T19:08:00.000-05:002010-11-29T19:08:18.979-05:00there's something about these hatsWe can't help but wonder if Angela Missoni has been watching a lot of The Flying Nun lately.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/missoni-ss11a026.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Missoni S/S 11</span></span></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SnhgpVb-u5s?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SnhgpVb-u5s?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-78367467271033932612010-11-22T12:51:00.000-05:002010-11-22T12:51:26.202-05:00the 'it' menorah<div style="text-align: justify;">HF doesn't usually do this, but we couldn't resist sharing this email we just received from Barneys.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/It-Menorah-s.jpg" /><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because really, nothing says 'trendy' like observing a 5,771 year old tradition.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-67931678073297149052010-11-12T20:49:00.000-05:002010-11-12T20:49:25.442-05:00caution: may cause bunching<div style="text-align: justify;">Oh man, don't you just haaaate when you go to the ladies room and no one tells you there's a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's almost as bad as no one telling you your skirt is tucked into your underwear.</div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/p-cost-ss11w017.jpg" /></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Paul Costelloe S/S 11</span></div><br />
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See, this is why girls don't go to the bathroom alone.haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-58120876786637567802010-11-11T14:43:00.000-05:002010-11-11T14:43:28.841-05:00ah, lina, you look lovely!<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/moncler-ss11a007.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Moncler S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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Gee, this hat and goggles weigh a ton. What dope would wear a thing like this?<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">Everybody used to wear them, Lina.</div><br />
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Well then everybody was a dope!<br />
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</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-7438119084025564762010-11-10T08:00:00.026-05:002010-11-10T08:00:05.401-05:00well that explains a lot <br />
Now, just so we're clear...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/m-kors-ss11w030-1.jpg" /> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Michael Kors S/S 11</span></div><br />
This is a burlap sack accessorized by platform Birkenstocks and chunky wool hiking socks.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
By Michael Kors. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
That's Birkenstocks with socks. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
With SOCKS.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/m-kors-ss11a064.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Michael Kors S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, when you said that <a href="http://nymag.com/fashion/fashionshows/2011/spring/main/newyork/womenrunway/projectrunwaygretchen/">Gretchen's collection</a> was "where fashion is going," what you really meant was, this is where <i>Michael Kors</i> is going. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Because we're pretty sure fashion isn't going to spend the summer baking whole wheat bread at an AMC mountain hut.<br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Michael, that means you're out.<br />
<br />
<br />
Please leave the runway.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's a burlap sack to put your things in.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/m-kors-ss11a053.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Michael Kors S/S 11</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-2757832589470010022010-11-09T15:46:00.000-05:002010-11-09T15:46:47.427-05:00fo' sho-lo<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Here at HF we're big fans of the mullet. Bigger than Tina Turner's hair big. Bigger than Hulk Hogan's hulk big! If you're not familiar with the classic literary masterpiece <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mullet-Hairstyle-Gods-Mark-Larson/dp/1582340641">The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods</a></i>, do yourself a favor and get thee to a bookery! In this thoughtful portrait, you'll learn about such rockin' styles as: the Hello Cleveland, the Kentucky Waterfall, the Blade Runner, the Relief Pitcher, the Holy Roller, and (our personal favorite) the Tailored Mohican.</div><br />
<br />
All the better to appreciate this Bi-Level Weekend Warrior Shlong sweater!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Business in the front... </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/c-shann-ss11w048-1.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Christopher Shannon S/S 11</span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/c-shann-ss11w049.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Christopher Shannon S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
... party in the back!</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-55935590109590999892010-10-29T14:22:00.000-04:002010-10-29T14:22:44.391-04:00halloween parade!<div style="text-align: justify;">This year's HF Halloween Parade is brought to you by Jeremy Scott. Without him, we wouldn't be half the Fuzz we are today--especially now that fashion is taking a turn for the minimal. So grab a seat and some Smarties and get ready for some spectacular spectating!</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Oh look, there's our first Lady Gaga of the day! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/jscott-ss11w115.jpg" /></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Jeremy Scott S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Can't go wrong with a good cold cut. Maybe we can *meat* up later. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hey look, it's a can-can girl!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/jscott-ss11w139.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Jeremy Scott S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hmm, looks like she could use a beer cozy.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Who's that coming this way? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Why, it's a ticket stub!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/jscott-ss11w085.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Jeremy Scott S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Poor guy. Someone's been used.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Up next... Ooh! It's... uh... well...</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's Tom Cruise in Risky Business, only the hookers have stolen his white shirt and he's been forced to fashion a top out of a shopping bag!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/jscott-ss11w011.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Jeremy Scott S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">On second thought, that might just be another Gaga.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And last but not least...</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/jscott-ss11w208.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Jeremy Scott S/S 11 </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The Institutionalization of Marriage.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Happy Halloween from Haute Fuzz! </div><div style="text-align: center;">May your hair be huge, </div><div style="text-align: center;">your costumes be clever, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and your sugar intake worthy of a diabetic coma. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-73258755263304709672010-10-28T14:35:00.001-04:002010-10-28T14:37:45.633-04:00wanna get highlighters?<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Back in October 1989, HF decided to dress up as a punk rocker for Halloween. The costume consisted of black leggings, a white t-shirt with some holes cut in it, and three colors of neon hairspray. We also used the hairspray to paint some neon spots on the t-shirt. It totally rocked the second grade.</div><br />
We suspect the same technique may have been applied here...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/betsey-ss11w243.jpg" /></div><div style="color: #cccccc; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Betsey Johnson S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's that or highlighters.</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-71927394764711543382010-10-26T14:30:00.000-04:002010-10-26T14:30:46.934-04:00doctor! it's horrible!Good morning Karmen, what seems to be the problem?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">There's a growth on my chest!</div><br />
I'm sorry, did you say a... growth?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">Yes, doctor, a growth! A barnacle like growth! On my chest!</div><br />
OK, well let's just stay calm here. Why don't you take off your jacket and we'll have a look.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/j-wu-ss11w160.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Jason Wu S/S 11</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Oh my. That <i>is</i> barnacle like.</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-16643450904550775162010-10-22T11:12:00.000-04:002010-10-22T11:12:43.114-04:00couldn't escape if i wanted to<div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/unique-ss11w126.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Topshop Unique S/S 11 </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">We'd love to come up with something witty and fabulous for you right now, but we're currently struck with an inexplicable urge to go watch <i>Muriel's Wedding</i> and listen to ABBA.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3U4kDzwZAMk?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3U4kDzwZAMk?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-80255968684549852672010-10-21T11:32:00.000-04:002010-10-21T11:32:50.746-04:00ode to water wings<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/mjacobs-ss11w125.jpg" /><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: xx-small;">Marc Jacobs S/S 11</span><br />
<br />
(to the tune of 'America the Beautiful' and <a href="http://hautefuzz.blogspot.com/2008/09/chute-jokes-so-yesterday.html">'Ode to Banana Pants'</a>)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">O beautiful, for spacious sleeves<br />
For blown up blobs embraced<br />
For purple puffs of taffeta<br />
And blooms that eat your face<br />
<br />
O water wings! O water wings!<br />
We'll stay afloat with thee<br />
Else swimming in this table skirt<br />
Would end in tragedy</div></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-91861471525957921812010-10-20T09:05:00.003-04:002010-10-20T20:32:15.852-04:00a scandalous baking adventure<div style="text-align: justify;">True story:<br />
<br />
Last month HF was recovering from Paris fashion mania with a brief stopover in the English countryside, when we learned that our visit was to coincide with a time-honored village tradition... the Shoreham Horticultural & Allotment Garden (SHAG) Society show. A SHAG show! At last, the opportunity to re-enact Helen Mirren's acceptance speech from <span style="font-style: italic;">Calendar Girls</span>!<br />
<br />
Much to our delight, HF's very talented sister was poised to enter no less than fifteen categories. Fancy breads! Stone fruit jams! Heaviest pumpkin! Sausage rolls!<br />
<br />
HF was charged with the task of handling the cheesecake entry. So we did what any self respecting New Yorker would do. We harassed the best cheesecake baker we knew for a recipe. The problem: the recipe called for a ten-inch pan. We had only a seven-inch.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">Sacrebleu!</span> So much cheesecake filling! What was a baking apprentice to do? Why, make more cheesecakes of course! We filled a pie pan, an oblong baking dish, any vessel that would hold wafer crumble crust and chocolate cheesey goodness!<br />
<br />
But wait, there's more. The show piece cooled with a very large crack on top. Great Jeremy Scott! A crack! Good thing we had all those extra cakes! We performed a delicate surgical graft, transplanting a sliver from one of the back-up cakes to patch the surface of the money maker.<br />
<br />
Which is how we ended up with this thing that looks rather like a vagina.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/chocolate-vagina-cheesecake.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Now, Marchesa, what's your excuse?<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/marchesa-ss11w083.jpg" /><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 78%;">Marchesa S/S 11</span><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-89777537814183073562010-10-19T13:09:00.005-04:002010-10-19T13:23:38.432-04:00it's a fuzzy job, but someone's gotta do it<div style="text-align: justify;">Many people have asked why the Fuzz disappeared for so long. Well, part of the danger in working in fashion 24/7 for many years is that you become a little jaded. And overworked. Bad fashion starts to become boring. Really bad fashion becomes an insult to your precious time and energy. And then it just stops registering altogether.<br /><br />Case in point: we flipped right past this look from PPQ without even noticing anything was amiss.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/ppq-ss11w017.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:78%;" >PPQ S/S 11</span><br /><br /><br />Almost.<br /></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-62224459877099109422010-10-12T16:18:00.005-04:002010-10-21T21:13:02.751-04:00overheard at isaac mizrahiIsaac: "Hee hee hee."<br />
<br />
Stylist: "Why are you smirking? What have you done?"<br />
<br />
Isaac: "You know Karl's collar drawer?"<br />
<br />
Stylist: "What drawer?"<br />
<br />
Isaac: "You know, Karl Lagerfeld's drawer full of super starched white shirt collars."<br />
<br />
Stylist: "Oh, yes, what about it?"<br />
<br />
Isaac: "I stole it."<br />
<br />
Stylist: "You STOLE it?"<br />
<br />
Isaac: "Yes! The whole drawer! And Karl is furious!"<br />
<br />
Stylist: "Jesus Christian and Coco, Isaac, I CANNOT know about this. I'll lose my Chanel booking!"<br />
<br />
Isaac: "Oh don't blow a zipper. Don't you think it's fabulous? A whole drawer of collars?"<br />
<br />
Stylist: "Well you better make them disappear faster than Lindsay Lohan at a rehab clinic, or I quit. You're only vaguely relevant again, you know. I have other clients."<br />
<br />
Isaac: "All right, all right. Consider them gone."<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/mizrahi-ss11w107.jpg" /><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 78%;">Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11</span><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/mizrahi-ss11w078.jpg" /><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 78%;">Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11</span><br />
<br />
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/mizrahi-ss11w018.jpg" /><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 78%;">Isaac Mizrahi S/S 11</span></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-20786776481669567872010-10-12T15:04:00.003-04:002010-10-12T15:32:52.905-04:00the bicycle: a brief historyToday we take a little ride down memory lane courtesy of our friends at the <a href="http://www.pedalinghistory.com/PHmuseum.html">Pedaling History Bicycle Museum</a>. Join us, as we learn about:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Draisienne or Walking Machine of 1817<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/Draisine.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />The Velocipede or Boneshaker (1865)<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/boneshak.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />The High Wheel Bicycle<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/highwhel.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />The Ladies' High Wheel Tricycle<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/LadyTrik.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />The Pneumatic Tire of the Gay Nineties (1890s, that is)<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/PHpneum.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />The 20th Century Kid's Bike<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/ShwBkFtm.gif" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />And of course, the present day Village Bicycle<br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/betsey-ss11w037.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);font-size:78%;" >Betsey Johnson S/S 11</span><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/betsey-ss11w019.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);font-size:78%;" >Betsey Johnson S/S 11<br /><br /></span><br /></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-88262244399651851352010-10-12T14:37:00.006-04:002010-10-12T14:47:03.608-04:00for those about to smockAll right children, today in art class we'll be learning about finger painting. Does everyone have their smocks?<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/c-row-ss11w087.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);font-size:78%;" >Cynthia Rowley S/S 11</span><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/cklein-ss11w057.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);font-size:78%;" >Calvin Klein S/S 11<br /></span><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/pjensen-ss11w087.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);font-size:78%;" >Peter Jensen S/S 11</span><br /><br /><br />Wonderful. Let's begin.<br /><br /><br /></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5183736567830743329.post-77583347678218378232010-03-14T14:49:00.002-04:002010-03-14T17:51:12.768-04:00turn around."What?"<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"Turn. Hat, off...<br /><br />The dress. You'll have to put on another one before you meet the children."<br /><br /></div>"But I don't have another one. When we enter the abbey, all our worldly clothes are given to the poor."<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"What about this one?"<br /><br /></div>"Well the poor didn't want this one."<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/tamtam730/vuitton-aw10w142.jpg" /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:78%;" >Louis Vuitton A/W 10</span><br /></div>haute fuzzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08406020406653037290noreply@blogger.com3