Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Dear Haute Fuzz,

I've been seeing the words "parachute pants" flying around HF quite a bit lately, along with various "chute" puns. How long do you think you can keep milking the same joke before it ceases to be funny?

Chute-ing Spree Survivor
Chillicothe, OH

Gentle reader,
You may have noticed the words "parachute pants" flying around HF quite a bit lately. Some of you may be wondering how long the words, associations, and mental images of "parachute pants" will continue to be funny. The answer to that is, of course, forever.

Fashion East: Natascha Stolle S/S 09

But we know you may have some other questions as well. Questions like:

-Where did parachute pants come from?

-Where have they been all this time?

-How will the parachute pants uprising ('Chutestorm') affect me?

-If parachute pants are so great, why haven't we heard from them in the last 20 years?

-Are the parachute pants really capable of changing fashion in our country, or will they just be more of the same outlandish designer duds?

-The parachute pants have been proven supporters of the 'Chute First' approach to foreign policy. How will they appease foreign leaders for this gross warmongering?

-We haven't seen waistlines this high since the seventies. How can the parachute pants claim they want to lower waistlines when they are so fundamentally high-waisted?

-I can't afford four more years of rising pants prices. What options will the parachute pants offer me so that I can own my own pair again without losing my shirt?

HF wants to help you, gentle readers, get through these difficult times. So we've forwarded your concerns to the parachute pants for consideration. We received the following response:

"Parachute pants have the necessary readiness. When the designers asked us to come back to such a high profile position on the runway, we didn't blink. We relate to the mom-and-pops, the good small-town Americans. And if you're still questioning our resume, let us remind you of the decades we've spent serving the real working class people of America."

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