Tuesday, June 5, 2007

cooking with the fuzz

  • 3 cups cornstarch
  • 1 1/2 cups flour
  • 2 tsp garlic salt
  • 2 tsp paprika
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp pepper
  • 48 oz beer
  • Seasoned Flour*
  • Oil for deep frying
  • 4 to 6 colossal onions, 4-inch diameter or larger

Alexander McQueen A/W 07

To make batter, mix cornstarch, flour and seasonings until well-blended. Add 24 oz beer; mix well. Set aside. Pour remaining 24 oz beer into a chilled mug. Drink as needed. For each onion, cut about 3/4-inch off the top of the onion; peel onion. With cut side of the onion up, cut into the onion, top to bottom, to form 12 to 16 pie-shaped wedges which will become the "petals" but do NOT cut through the bottom (root end) of the onion. Using a paring knife, cut off the "petals" in the center of the onion (about a 1-inch diameter circle). Do not cut a hole through the onion.

Dip cut onion into seasoned flour and remove excess by shaking. Stir beer batter, then dip floured onion into batter and remove excess by gently shaking. Holding onion upright, separate "petals" to coat thoroughly with batter. Heat oil in deep fat fryer or deep saucepan to 375 to 400 F. Your container should never be more than half full of oil. There should be enough oil to cover the onion and to allow the onion to move freely in the saucepan. Do not allow the fat to smoke. The models may be allowed to smoke, but only to avoid getting fat.

Gently place onion in the fryer basket or other wire frying basket. Deep-fry for 1 1/2 minutes. Turn over and fry 1 to 1 1/2 minutes longer or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Place onion upright in shallow bowl and cut out root end with a circular cutter or apple corer. Serve hot with Creamy Chili Sauce** and thigh-high leather boots. (You can place a small bowl of sauce in the center of the onion. You can place the toe of the boots in the center of someone's ass if they don't bring you another 24 oz of beer.)

*Seasoned Flour: Combine 2 cups flour, 4 tsp paprika, 2 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp pepper and 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper; mix well.

**Creamy Chili Sauce: Combine 1 cup each mayonnaise and dairy sour cream, 1/4 cup chili sauce and 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper; mix well. Makes 2 1/4 cups.

Alexander McQueen A/W 07

Always use caution when deep-frying fashion. The oil is very haute!

Recipe fuzzed from the National Onion Association via recipedude.com

1 comment:

Misopogon said...

The designer must have been furious when the model, perhaps embarassed by the prospect of appearing in public dressed only in a giant purple shallot, decided to steal the bath mat from the dressing room for extra cover.

-The Step-Ex 2nd Cousin Twice Removed, but keeps coming back