Monday, March 3, 2008

at home with the catons

Dan: I'm sooo bored, I don't feel like designing a collection. You do it.

Dean: No way. I'm exhausted having to constantly shock people with camp. You do it.

Dan: But Deeeean!

Dean: I'm too depressed and uninspired to design a collection.

Dan: So? Marc Jacobs did it. Why can't we make everyone else as bored and depressed as we are?

Dean: I don't care, do whatever you want. I'm going to sleep.

Dan: I hate you. I'm trading you for a new brother.

Dean: Good.

The next day...

Dan: Okay Dean, so while you were sleeping, I B-squared (bribed and blackmailed) Ralph Lauren and got him to volunteer to design the collection for us. Oh, here he is now. Hey there Ralph!

Ralph: So... what exactly do you want me to do?

Dan: Just do whatever you feel like doing.

Dean: Yeah, we don't care. Whatever's good.

Ralph: But you have to give me a concept to work with.

Dan: Boredom.

Dean: Depression.

Dan: Just do whatever you did for your own collection. What was that... something with black? And red?

Ralph: It was an homage to the American frontier and luxurious log cabin plaids--

Dean: Plaids, yeah, do that. And don't you do like suits and stuff?

Dan: Yeah do some suits. Tailored stuff.

Dean: But nothing too interesting. None of those fun hats.

Dan: Yeah, don't forget the reaction you're going for is absolute boredom. Blah. Those plaids better not be exciting.

Dean: Oh, they won't be. Everyone and their brother's doing plaids.

Dan: Ha, brother... Got that, Ralph?

Ralph: Well... I guess... but... are you sure you don't want some edge in there?

Dan: Nah.

Ralph: But what about some bondage chains? Or high heels made out of axe blades? Ninja star jewelry?

Dean: We said no edge!

Ralph: Handbags that look like spray paint cans that actually spray paint?

Dan: No edge, no camp!

Ralph: But...

Dan: Just pretend our name is the theme: D Squared. Make it square.

Dean: But not like "hip to be square," just plain square. Dull.

Ralph: But...

Dean: You just don't stop! Fine, give them fishnets or something. Shoes they can't walk in. Let 'em smoke cigarettes.

Ralph: That's not very edgy.

Dan: Exactly!

Ralph: Well... okay...

Dsquared2 A/W 08

Dan: Perfect.

Dean: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

1 comment:

Jeny said...

ahahhaa. Spot on. But you should have warned us about those models' faces! Sheesh, it's like seing a clown for the first time...having that frightening image burned into your brain, and then, just when you think you've shaken the image, it sneeks back up to you as your falling asleep in your dark bedroom. AAaaaHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!